Flow of Thought.
I can’t believe how immature most of my posts are. Some of them, I can barely even understand. I guess this is one of the reasons why I seriously considered deleting this account, and ending up neglecting it for–how long?–5 months. And it would’ve been longer if I hadn’t written on this last day of May. God I’m such a loser.
To make up for my period of AWOL, I changed my layout. It’s still quite pathetic of me to use a layout from the “Themes” section, but my Internet class last semester hardly enhanced whatever web-designer is in me, if at all. I learned only the basics of CSS, when I was eager for an extensive discussion on it. Oh well. The course has served its purpose. The professor kept pounding on us the number 1 objective of the subject, which was appreciation. And hell do I appreciate that dratted subject! Sites are a lot prettier these days than they were back then. CSS is so much better than HTML, and then of course there is XML and others, of which I know nothing about.
Summer is almost over for me. Actually it has been for a little over 2 weeks back; that is, for those of you who equate summer to summer classes which I know is wrong but often find myself using the term in that way anyway. And no I’m not retaking a failed course. I just took Social Science II, which is Socio-Economic and Political Thought. I practically buried myself in The Republic, The Prince, and other similar works just to understand what the hell Plato and Machiavelli were saying. Anyway it was quite interesting, although highly difficult to understand alone. And it didn’t help that any student’s principal resource of ideas (i.e., the Professor) always came to class late, was fond of telling stories of things only slightly related to the subject matter, and gave exams that had the potential to murder a student’s grade just because everything is 2pts each or even 3. I don’t really care for the first one–heck I’m always late too (and that’s not even a joke). And the second one is forgivable–who doesn’t stray away from the point? But really! That last one? I understand educators in college never give exams over 100 with 1 point each item. Nobody does that. I’m not even sure if anyone ever did. But the thing is, I despise exams like that (the one with the outrageous pointing system). Especially if they’re fill in the blanks or SIMPLY and ONLY True or False and not even MODIFIED True or False and they cost MORE THAN just one point. Where’s the justification? It’s totally unfair. I’d rather have a writing assignment that costs a whole hundred points due in less than a week than suffer stupid pointing systems like that. I could probably get a higher grade than any exam of his that way. Just maybe. Okay, fine so I was biased because I can write, but do I or do I not get the point across? Whatever. I know nothing is supposed to be fair, but that cruel system just loses the… quality of a student’s grade, you know? It’s just downright dumb. Might I propose that if a Professor feels the need to insert 2 or even 3pts in one question, let that question be a profound and significant part of the course. And at least let the type of test justify the importance of more than a point per item. Like, making them modified, or adding some type of activity in the test. It’s just a suggestion. It’s not even much. Jeez, I’m not even sure I laid it out in a proper way. I know like hell being a teacher is hard; who is best to ask about teaching than I, who has but a family of devoted educators whose line of descent goes… way, way back?
But I guess seeing the process and actually going through it are entirely different things. Which brings my mind to think about the possibility of actually staying in the University after graduation to teach. It’s a very respectable occupation, mind you (or rather, mind mySELF); I just haven’t set my heart to it because I’ve got so many dreams but none of them completely specific.
But then again maybe I should teach, just for the hell of giving out senseless questions that cost 5 points each.
Resurrection.
I have just risen from the dead. I haven’t written here in forever. I was almost going to delete this account, thinking I’d forgotten my password altogether, but given that I still knew my password, and given that I have recently been inspired to blog thanks to the person who got me to create this account (he does not know me; well, not yet), I thought I should save this. Besides, I need to stop this cycle of starting something and not ending it. Not that there would ever be an end to weblogs.
Today was special. I went out with my aunt and my cousin at IRRI to attend this seminar on beauty stuff, which is normally so not my thing, but trailed along anyway out of respect and the expected ultimate bonding experience it had in store for me. I haven’t been with them in so long it feels like years. Oh, wait. It has been years.
I realized I missed my older cousin. We’re practically six years apart (and I’m not even sure) but we’ve shared a lot of things together since I was an infant. Seriously. She’s even lent me clothes. Aside from that we’ve borrowed CDs, mp3s, books, and notes from each other. She’s in the same university I’m in, only she’s about to graduate. She’s taking up Veterinary Medicine, and that’s why I got up to her in UP.
Anyway (expect this word often), we got to talk about my current situation, which, due to the vastness of the internet, obvious exposure, and security reasons, I will not care to elaborate. She and her mother gave me advice on how to deal with it. It’s so difficult but sometimes I find myself satisfied. Forgive me for being extremely weird, but it helps me focus on something other than what I’m used to, like my academics and my social life. For once, I’m devoting myself to it, no matter how subtle my actions and how much of a coward I really am. This storm came for me to be stronger, more active, and involved. No storm shall come to pass without having left anyone stronger and with a deeper outlook in life. Maybe this is my chance.
My whole 2007 was more than depressing and irksome. I guess I never got to put an end to my year 2007 in this blog, much less in my journal or microsoft word files. But this I will say: All that I went through last year is one for the books. I have learned, felt, and met so much. If the present fiasco I am participating in is only serving its purpose of changing my selfish and pathetic ways, then fine.
I’ll do whatever I can to learn out of it.
